02 | March | 2015 | The Radical Age Movement

by Alice Fisher

February 27, 2015

On Saturday, February 21^st, 60 people attended The Radical Age Movement’s “Age Café”, a four-hour workshop on ageism. Based on the organizing process, World Café, the participants had the opportunity to share their stories of ageism with each other and to begin brainstorming on how together we can build a powerful movement that alters how age is dealt with in our society.

When entering the room, attendees found provocative stories and questions about ageism posted around the room to encourage them to think about the ageism stories in their own lives. They then situated themselves at tables for 4. At each table was a member of the The Radical Age Movement’s steering committee to act as facilitator and scribe.

Alice Fisher welcomed everyone and shared her article, What The Radical Age Movement Is and What It’s Not (theradicalagemovement.com/2015/02/18/what-the-radical-age-movement-is-and-what-its-not/ ). She explained that The Radical Age Movement (RA) is not about all of the individual issues that impact the community of older adults, rather it is about exposing the ageism that lies beneath these issues…the exploitation of and prejudice against people merely because of their age. Alice explained to the room, primarily filled with boomers and seniors, that our efforts can also have a significant impact on younger generations who are feeling pressured today to accomplish their life’s work by the time they are forty, before they are “over the hill”. We were so pleased to have several younger people among the participants.

Alice then turned the floor over to Steve Burghardt who was the afternoon’s facilitator. Steve started off the conversations with two questions: What is in your story that brought you to the Age Café today rather than an AARP session on new legislation? and What can we do concretely to confront ageism in our lives and at work? Participants immediately dove into the conversations, sharing their own experiences and observations of the incessant ageism that permeates our society. There was no shortage of ideas for how to confront this last ‘ism’ that eventually affects every single one of us if we are lucky to live long lives.

Throughout the afternoon, participants changed tables where the conversations continued. After several rounds, the scribes from each table reported their observations and notes on the conversations. Some of the comments included:

Ageism has to emerge as a movement similar to racism, sexism, etc.,
Women with gray hair are automatically assumed to be grandmas (stereotyping).
Expressions of discomfort at being offered a seat on the subway (internalized ageism).,
Workplaces are often set up to be adversarial (young vs. old).

Thoughts on how to confront ageism included:

Call out ageism wherever you see it, among family and friends, in the media, marketing, etc.,
Acceptance of ageing starts with ourselves. Be proud of whatever age you are, and “come out” as your age.
Develop non-alienating responses we can give when confronted with ageist remarks.,
Examine our own ageist tendencies. (consciousness raising).,
Develop a public media campaign.

This is only a small sample of the many concerns and suggestions that emerged from an afternoon of conversations about ageism.

Many of Saturday’s participants expressed interest in becoming active in RA. Alice and Steve and the rest of the RA steering committee are already rolling up their sleeves to plan our next steps and reach out to those who want to be involved. To make this work, follow three principles:

Combat ageism by adding it in to your life and work, don’t add it on;
Deal with the issues that emerge with consistency, not constancy: this is a long term fight that will requite on-gong effort from us all, not a few weeks that wear everyone out;
You don’t have to do a lot and you must do a little: new habits of confronting ageism and articulating new ways of thinking and acting about age require small actions over time that committed people commit to—and over time, collectively build to major change.

If people enroll in having a meeting at home or after work that would be great! Little things mean a lot. We extend our gratitude to all of those who participated in the Age Café. Their voices are already serving as a guide as we set off on this significant journey together.

The last place one would expect to find ageism well and flourishing is in the helping professions, particularly among those who devote their careers to working with, helping, and advocating for older adults. And yet, we often see ageist attitudes prevail in these areas. Not unnoticed are unintentional ageist practices in our own field of social work. A director of casework at a large senior service agency told me; “There are social workers who come into the field wanting to ‘help’ without realizing that their attitude could be disempowering and contributing to widening the power differential.” These social workers are over-accommodating for what they perceive as a lack or weakness among their elderly clients.

As social workers, we think of diversity in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, gender and nationality. Do we, however, experience the older people we work with as “the other”? We need to understand that these people who have lived their experiences through to almost a complete life are some of the most complex and interesting people we will ever encounter. We may think we understand the experience of this “other”, but that is impossible. The only way we can begin to understand older adults is to listen. Listening is a primary skill when interacting with most people and is particularly salient when interacting with older adults. There is much we can learn if we allow them to share their stories with us. And, in order for that to take place, social workers and others working in the field of geriatrics, need to remember that these people have the same desire for autonomy and respect as the rest of us. Each time we over-accommodate for a perceived weakness in an elderly client, we disempower that client a little bit more.

One of the most prevalent ageist practices that takes place in senior environments is “elderspeak” or talking to older adults in the same way one speaks to a child. This type of speech infantilizes the seniors with whom we interact. Sweet baby talk does not pass muster with older adults, especially the oldest among us. When a social worker talks condescendingly or uses “baby talk” to address an elderly person, we are guilty of making that elder feel like she is less than we are. I once heard an aide greet my 92 year old dad with the words, “Don’t you look like a handsome young man today.” This was executed with the same sing-song voice we would use when talking to a young child. As she walked away, my dad turned to me and said, “I don’t like that person.”

My dad resides in a senior care community where I visit quite often. He has problems with his short term memory, gets confused, and cannot physically take care of himself. Yet, he does not think of himself as less than any of the people around him. He loves to tell stories and share experiences. I know he will never do this with the person who reacts towards him as if he were a child. Now, think of someone not as strong as my dad…someone frail and anxious. This person is much more likely to internalize the baby talk and begin acting like the baby she is being told she is.

When we infantilize older adults, we are disempowering them. We are compromising their autonomy.

Another form of over-accommodating is over-helping. A friend of mine who is 79 years old experienced two strokes in her seventies. Although she was left with some speech and mobility issues, she worked very hard to overcome these challenges. Today she has returned to her career as a college professor and researcher and lives an independent life. Recently she told me about her trip to visit her daughter for Thanksgiving. As it was, one of the guests at Thanksgiving dinner was a nurse who insisted on following my friend around throughout the day, prepared to catch her should she stumble or fall. Knowing that the nurse’s intentions were well-meaning and not wanting to cause a scene, my friend accepted her “help” graciously. However, she told me, “I was seething inside and desperately wanted to tell her to leave me alone!” She added, “If I needed her help, I was perfectly capable of asking for it”.

The same question arises. Had my friend not been the strongly confident woman she is, she could have easily internalized the message of helplessness that was being covertly sent by this person who insisted on following her around.

We all know how it feels to take pride and a sense of accomplishment when we overcome obstacles in our lives. Why would one think that need disappears when we age? The situation above could have easily been handled by simply asking my friend if she required any assistance. And, if the answer was “no thank you”, to accept it as the authentic answer to a heartfelt question.

These are powerful lessons for all of us when interacting with the older adults whom we work, as well as with the older adults in our lives.